I think I’ll roll with it

I’m going to lean into the motivation I have right now, because I usually can’t gather the energy to put pen to paper if it’s not something I have to do. I used to have the energy to do things that were things I wanted to do and not just something I had to do. Being a grown up wasn’t anything like I thought it would be; it’s exhausting and draining. It’s always running towards the unknown, but there’s a feeling that you have to run in that direction. You’ve been here long enough to know you have to run on this path, there’s no option that lets you walk, or stray. It’s a narrow path, and there’s something making you run at an unmanageable pace; you can’t see it but you can feel it so strongly and you feel it right behind you. It’s like a weight, running from it lets you avoid carrying it, but it still controls you. Most of us live in the real world; we have to work jobs that suck, we have to pay someone else’s mortgage (they own 6 houses) and we have to sacrifice our wellbeing and values to survive in a place that feels like it’s against us. Everyday is a fight, we get “time” but we’re always running on a hamster wheel. How can any of us get well? How can we be happy, if we are always fighting. We need rest, we need time to make happiness a reality. I’m fighting for it, and I have privilege. What about people who have no advantages? The reason I work for those who have been dealt a shit hand is because I get it, I know what its like to not have the same opportunities as the person standing next to you, but I guess it’s all about perspective…